Just Be!

I have been contemplating for a while if this blog should be a travel journey story, and I have decided not to do so. What to write after spending 10 amazing days in the Maldives? How beautiful the beaches and waters are? What an amazing resort I have stayed in? Well, I don’t think this would be very interesting to read and anyway pictures and videos give a much better insight to what heaven on earth is like!

But what I guess is more interesting for you to read is how I coped walking on sand, and what a life changing experience this has been for me. It’s not the fact of having spent a holiday in the Maldives (yeah, who doesn’t dream to visit one of those islands at least once in a lifetime), but it helped me to overcome my “weaker self”.

Becci & Me at the “white party”

This trip was about attending the Grand Opening of the new resort “Finolhu” at the Baa Atoll in Maldives to which I was invited (For more info visit: www.finolhu.com ). A stunning property on a private island with 1,6km long beach accommodating 125 private villas (some beachfront, some over-water) welcomed us. The grand opening was a huge party that lasted 3 days where each evening had a different theme night. First night was the “chic all white” party, the second one “sexy black and red”, and the third evening “fifty shades of blue” to match our dress codes.

I was totally excited to be able to attend this event and prolong my stay with some chilling time after the party, but I was also a bit nervous to be facing new challenges like how would I cope walking on sand, or how to swim in the ocean etc. After having written one of my latest blogs titled “Reflecting on the things I have done for the last time”, my friend Alexa sent me a message with the following words: we will do many new “firsts” on this Maldives trip. Admittedly, I was quite skeptical before the trip, but after 2 days on the island I learned to just go with the flow and not give a shit about what others think.

On this trip I went for my very first swim since my amputation, and honestly it felt a bit odd at the beginning. Even though my prosthetic is water-proof that type of leg should not be used in salt water and hence I had to take it off when going for a swim. So what are the options? I had once seen a young guy hoppling on one leg from his sunbed into the sea, but this isn’t an option for me as my boobs would be jumping up and down getting even more attraction than I already do anyway. So the best and only option was heading into the water on my crutches until the water reaches my knees, I would then give the crutches to Becci (my best friend who joined me on this trip) and then dive immediately into the water. It worked out perfectly and much easier than I thought. Getting out of the water is actually easier as I let myself drift towards the beach, and then pull myself up with my arms. However, due to the riptide my bikini bottom always got filled up with sand making me look like a kid that has pooed in their pants.

My biggest challenge was that my stump would swell up if I wasn’t wearing my (silicon) liner (that’s what you got to wear in order to adhere to the prosthetic), and I mainly took it off when going for a swim. In the evenings I had problems to get into the prosthetic, and even got very strong ghost pain later in the evenings. After two days of trying out various ways, I figured out that the best was to keep the liner on whilst sunbathing and to put the liner on immediately after my swim. By doing this I solved my swelling problem and each night I was able to enjoy myself without any pain. Now I have a white left leg whilst the rest of my body is nicely tanned. And I even had fun dancing and forgetting everyone else around me.

A real highlight was a snorkeling trip with the mantas. After a 20-minute boat ride into the ocean, we reached a lagoon that is rich of plankton, a feeding place of the mantas. Goggles, snorkel, and one fin on, we jumped into the ocean from the side of the boat the moment we spotted some mantas. The sea was a bit rough and the current was strong, and I was glad to have Alexis, the dive instructor, beside me holding my hand and pulling me into the right directions. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have been able to last 40 minutes in the water, as it was indeed a bit tiring towards the end. We did spot 5 mantas though… it was just incredible!

Funny that I get overly excited about doing things like snorkeling, something I used to do more frequently in the past. But I guess I simply feel this way after having been on activities detox for over 2 years.

Probably the thing I am mostly proud of is having played tennis in the Maldives. Swinging the tennis racket for the first time since my amputation, and standing on the tennis court was the most incredible feeling! Thanks to Becci who arranged a tennis trainer I had the courage to try it out. If it wasn’t for her who pushed me to arrange it, I wouldn’t have tried it. The forehand actually worked out quite well and I even managed to place the shots at my “targets”. Just with the backhand (as I use both hands) I had some balance difficulties and hitting the ball properly, but I guess that’s something I can work on.

Now that I am back in Germany, I already arranged a trainer and as of next week I would like to practice once a week. Finally, I have the feeling of being a bit the old me, and I am able to do the things I love again. I am feeling good and fit, and am having less back pain, which gives me more opportunities to be active again.

This holiday in a hot and humid destination was exactly what I needed. It reminded me why I had been living in Asia for 4 years and that I was missing that sort of climate. After my past crazy and busy months between chemos, radiation and rehab, I really needed some time off: relaxing in the sun and only rolling over from one side to the other. The partying and dancing nights were lots of fun, and some active exercises such as tennis and kayaking were good to get rid of the alcohol from the previous nights.

I am very proud of myself and I am now already setting my next goals…

I would like to try playing golf again, and will start my first chipping shots in the garden. If this works out well, I may head to the driving range and hit some balls with a trainer. Waterskiing is another thing that I used to love doing. Whilst in the Maldives I saw a few people doing waterskiing, and I was wondering if I would be able to do that. I got to figure this out still and perhaps ask my orthopedic technicians if this would be possible.

What did I bring back from this trip? Well, I once read a book about life transformation, describing an approach to awakened living, self-development and higher awareness. And at some point it mentions the following:

“You should listen closely to the wisdom of your body and avoid intellectual distinctions”. So what it means: “Just Be!” in other words, don’t get too intellectual.

And that’s what I put into practice… I stopped thinking too much and “I just be”.

Finolhu – Baa Atoll – Maldives – www.finolhu.com